Monday, November 21, 2005
Aside from being bored, I woke up today a bit depressed. I was in front of the computer the whole day--diversion therapy and yet my mood did not change. O well, this is what I do coz I'm still bum. I should have been reviewing for NCLEX. Last week, I had all the motivation to study. However, this day, all that motivation vanished.
It is the fifth day. I don't like to see him. I don't like to talk to him. I don't like to text him. It's no use. I am used to be left behind. I am always the one who is given up. I should not expect anything to anyone. I should have known better. Never trust. Never hope.
Another reminder for myself... I am only a co-coordinator. I have to be cautious with my actions. I have the tendency to overpower people unconsciously. Stop being demanding. Stop being soOoo strong. People often misinterpret my actions. Most people really do...and it's annoying...
Lastly, I should not expect that I will regain THE friendship I had with him before. It's been over a year and yet we haven't learned to be comfortable with each other. Even if I see him almost twice a week, even if I can share jokes and simple thoughts thru text messages...It ends there. He is not making any effort. I should accept it.
Good thing my friend, Ica reminded me that I am MORE PRECIOUS than JEWELS. And that we do not deserve to be taken for granted, to be hurt and to be given up. We should not shed tears to those who are unworthy. Let go, let go...I can do it again. I know.
-----> RN, MAN, PhD or RN, MD.?! Haven't decided yet. Oh my!
Angela got acquainted with the little prince on 06:51 pm
